I love being a mom. Growing up, everyone had their dreams, this was mine. I wanted to be a mom. I have loved every second of it. Even the hard, frustrating and exhausting parts. I think that's why it is hard for me to come to terms with the fact that it is going by so fast. I just know that I am going to blink and just like that they will be gone. But that's the whole point right? To love them, disciple them in Jesus and then send them out. I guess I just didn't anticipate it going so fast. I know that before I know it, my living room won't be filled with blocks and trucks and massive baby gear.
It will be clean and quiet and I will have my time, thoughts and hopefully sanity back. I guess that should make me happy right? But instead it makes me so incredibly sad/happy, we will just call it sappy- perfect. Sad for it to be over, happy to watch them follow the path the Lord has laid out for them.
Needless to say, beginning this new chapter has caused my heart to reflect on a few things. First thing is my kids are not my world. They are not what I worship. I love them. I fight for them. I enjoy them. But I do not worship them. Our culture is more kid-obsessed than ever before. So much to the point that if you choose not to play a gazillion sports by the time they are eating solids or spend a gazillion dollars on birthday parties that are "pin worthy" then your parenting is deemed all but stellar. Our culture worships kids. If we place our sole identity as being a parent, if we place our children on the throne of our hearts then what happens when our kids leave the nest? What happens when they fail us? What happens when they battle a life threatening illness or are taken suddenly? To place our children on the throne of our hearts is idolatry. That throne is reserved for the only one who upholds all things. He is never changing and steadfast. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He alone satisfies our hearts and is our only source of true joy. Everything else is a shadow- He alone is the substance. So as I send my kids off one by one, I will give thanks for the precious years given and I will hold steadfast to the hope of eternity with the one who holds my heart.
The second thing that I have been reminded of is the beauty in the day to day. Every minute counts. I want to make the most of every opportunity in pointing them to Jesus. I only have a few years. Those moments when I am tempted to believe that there is no point or no end to the constant laundry, messes, refereeing and discipline, I have to remember, there will be an end to these things and it's not what I'm doing that matters it's the "how", in how I do them. I must do all these things giving thanks to God for his glory. The days of toys, peed in bedsheets, fishing Barbie shoes out of the potty with diarrhea in it (yes..that was last Sunday) will be gone. What legacy will I leave? It's the "how" I love in the mundane that leaves a lasting footprint on this next generation of world changers. To show grace and patience in the small things speaks more to their hearts than planning big parties or buying more toys. To take the time to discipline in love speaks more loudly than raising our voices in anger. Oh Lord, please empower me by your spirit to walk in a manner worthy of this calling! He is a good good Father! Abide in Him dear ones! This mom stuff is tough business, but it is a beautiful calling! ❤️
