I don't like labels. It seems that everywhere I go lately all I hear is the debate between Calvinism and Arminianism. While I firmly believe there is but ONE truth. It breaks my heart to see division within the body of Christ over labels. So for all who are curious about where Luke and I stand, here it is...
Do I believe that God is completely sovereign and that He calls who He wishes, absolutely! There is no way that you can read the scriptures and not believe that. If you don't agree, Paul lays it out much better than I ever could in Romans 9 and that's just one place. Scripture also says that He desires all to be saved and to come to the knowledge of truth. He is an absolute loving Father. He created love. But He is also just and His ways are so much higher than our ways. I believe that God's heart is always love, however He has a perfect will that ultimately will put His justice, mercy, grace, goodness and power on display for all the world to see. If you don't believe me then just ask yourself these questions. "If He is the One who is, who was, and who is to come then do I believe that He knows those who ultimately will spend eternity with him?" If you answer yes, then ask yourself, "If He knows those who are not His, then why did He choose to still create them?" The answer to this everytime is that He is sovereign, and the potter can make and do whatever He wishes. We can't truly worship in humility and complete reverence, a God that we chose from the religion buffet. If you belong to Him, it's because He chose you not vice versa. A common misbelief when it comes to election, is the belief that if one were to desire to know God then he couldnt because he wasnt a 'chosen one'. Lol thats nuts. If your heart desires to know Him, it is because He placed that desire in your heart and He is calling you to Him. We love because He first loved us. He owes us nothing and we owe him everything. If this makes you angry at me, sorry. I would encourage you to ask your own heart why this makes you so uncomfortable. If it's because it's different than what you grew up being taught, then I would say that's a good reason to get out the scriptures and seek the truth for yourself. Don't just trust what is handed to you from me, from your pastor or your parents. Seek the truth for yourself! Hold what you believe up against the Holy Word and see if it lines up.
I come from two very different spectrums in the religious world. I grew up charasmatic/baptist lol. This led to a very confused teenager being taught two different things. I remember the day I sat on my bed with my Bible in my lap. My heart and mind were riddled with confusion and frustration. I prayed that day for God to show me His truth. Not what I grew up hearing, not what anyone else's interpretation was. I wanted His heart. His truth. Nothing more, nothing less. Take this religion and tradition and give me Jesus. He has been so faithful to do so. I am not knocking any of these religions, I know some of the most godly folks who go to all kinds of different churches. That's why I hate labels. Someone says Baptist and you automatically think, stiff knecked, sunday school and hymnals. Someone says charasmatic and you automatically think pew jumpin' and speaking in tounges. I know this because I have been guilty of it! You may not like me, you may not agree with me that is okay, because I still love you :) but I will not accept any label but the one written on my forehead that says I belong to the King. We are called to love. You can take anyone on this planet, the more you get to know them, eventually you will find something that you disagree on. Let's not get lost in labels or in useless debates over which side of the fence eachother is on. Dig in His word and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal His truth to your heart. He is faithful to do so! I don't know about you but from what He has shown me so far, His heart is more beautiful than anything and I cant get enough of it!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Dear Ezra,
Ezra,
Yesterday afternoon Mommy went to the doctor and had an ultrasound to check your development. It has been 19 weeks since God placed you in my womb. So far your time in my tummy has been much easier than your big brother and sister. I am praying that you are my 'peaceful' child ha! From the moment I saw the positive sign on my pregnancy test, God has given me such a great peace about you. I have not been anxious about your health or well-being and as I drove to my appointment yesterday, there was no difference. My heart was filled with excitement to get to see you and how much you have grown. After the ultrasound, I sat in the patient room waiting to see my doctor. After she looked at your pictures, she came in and told me that you looked perfect except that you have what is called, Choroid plexus cysts on your brain. She explained that this is weakly related to down syndrome however, they want to explore more just to be sure so she referred me to a specialist to get a level 2 ultrasound done. Little one, all these things are just details and the only reason I am even sharing them is because Mommy wants you to know that even as I sat there and heard that there is a possibility that you could have a disability, our faithful Father graced your momma with so much peace that it even astounded me. You see, earlier that morning, as I sat before the Lord, I asked Him to give me more faith and I knew as I prayed those words that it would come through something to do with your time in my womb. The truth of it is, even if He allowed us to walk that road, He is faithful and He is good. I believe with all of my heart that you are perfectly healthy, but even if you weren't, that would not change my love for you for a single second. It would not make me disappointed or fearful because you, my darling, are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Father. I loved you before He formed you. Mommy prayed and asked our sweet Father to bless us with another little blessing and He said yes by giving us you. I know that you are going to be a very special little boy. I have a deep conviction that He is going to use you and your siblings in mighty ways. I pray for you every day. For your health, your journey into this world and most of all for God to place a strong desire and burning passion for Him in your heart. You are so blessed by two very special siblings who are very excited to meet you. Your big brother Elijah kisses my tummy and talks to you all the time. Your big sister Halle thinks that I have named my belly button Ezra, ha, but I have no doubt when she understands she will be thrilled! God has also blessed you with an amazing daddy who is already in love with you. He works hard, laughs hard, prays hard and loves hard. He has a deep love and a burning passion for Jesus and is bursting with excitement at any opportunity to teach you about Him. We are so excited to meet you and watch you grow to be a man who reveres the King. I have no doubt that you are perfect. Not by any standards of this world, but by the standards of your Creator. I am praying that when we go see this specialist Monday, that these cysts are gone and that it will be all for the glory of the Lord. Already, your life is bringing Him praise and you haven't even taken your first breath. I just want you to know that our Father is good and our Father is faithful. It is Mommy and Daddy's greatest mission to live our lives in front of you children so to see the face of Jesus. Although, we mess up time and time again, His mercy remains. In these times of uncertainty, we have a hope that still holds firm and that is our hope in Jesus. We have joy through tears and His word chases away all fear. My sweet boy, He is more than my words could ever express so I am looking forward to the opportunity to show you day after day, trial after trial, who He is and what we have in Him. I cant wait to see your sweet, precious face. I cant wait to finally hold you in my arms. I love you little boy and I am so honored to be your mommy.
March 14, 2012
Yesterday afternoon Mommy went to the doctor and had an ultrasound to check your development. It has been 19 weeks since God placed you in my womb. So far your time in my tummy has been much easier than your big brother and sister. I am praying that you are my 'peaceful' child ha! From the moment I saw the positive sign on my pregnancy test, God has given me such a great peace about you. I have not been anxious about your health or well-being and as I drove to my appointment yesterday, there was no difference. My heart was filled with excitement to get to see you and how much you have grown. After the ultrasound, I sat in the patient room waiting to see my doctor. After she looked at your pictures, she came in and told me that you looked perfect except that you have what is called, Choroid plexus cysts on your brain. She explained that this is weakly related to down syndrome however, they want to explore more just to be sure so she referred me to a specialist to get a level 2 ultrasound done. Little one, all these things are just details and the only reason I am even sharing them is because Mommy wants you to know that even as I sat there and heard that there is a possibility that you could have a disability, our faithful Father graced your momma with so much peace that it even astounded me. You see, earlier that morning, as I sat before the Lord, I asked Him to give me more faith and I knew as I prayed those words that it would come through something to do with your time in my womb. The truth of it is, even if He allowed us to walk that road, He is faithful and He is good. I believe with all of my heart that you are perfectly healthy, but even if you weren't, that would not change my love for you for a single second. It would not make me disappointed or fearful because you, my darling, are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Father. I loved you before He formed you. Mommy prayed and asked our sweet Father to bless us with another little blessing and He said yes by giving us you. I know that you are going to be a very special little boy. I have a deep conviction that He is going to use you and your siblings in mighty ways. I pray for you every day. For your health, your journey into this world and most of all for God to place a strong desire and burning passion for Him in your heart. You are so blessed by two very special siblings who are very excited to meet you. Your big brother Elijah kisses my tummy and talks to you all the time. Your big sister Halle thinks that I have named my belly button Ezra, ha, but I have no doubt when she understands she will be thrilled! God has also blessed you with an amazing daddy who is already in love with you. He works hard, laughs hard, prays hard and loves hard. He has a deep love and a burning passion for Jesus and is bursting with excitement at any opportunity to teach you about Him. We are so excited to meet you and watch you grow to be a man who reveres the King. I have no doubt that you are perfect. Not by any standards of this world, but by the standards of your Creator. I am praying that when we go see this specialist Monday, that these cysts are gone and that it will be all for the glory of the Lord. Already, your life is bringing Him praise and you haven't even taken your first breath. I just want you to know that our Father is good and our Father is faithful. It is Mommy and Daddy's greatest mission to live our lives in front of you children so to see the face of Jesus. Although, we mess up time and time again, His mercy remains. In these times of uncertainty, we have a hope that still holds firm and that is our hope in Jesus. We have joy through tears and His word chases away all fear. My sweet boy, He is more than my words could ever express so I am looking forward to the opportunity to show you day after day, trial after trial, who He is and what we have in Him. I cant wait to see your sweet, precious face. I cant wait to finally hold you in my arms. I love you little boy and I am so honored to be your mommy.
March 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
light shined on the accuser
I have always struggled with self condemnation and guilt. Even when I know in my heart that I have done nothing wrong, I will make the problem my fault. I can't stand it when someone has something against me. You may think that is a good thing, because I did to. But I am seeing that it can be a terrible thing. Scripture clearly says that we should do our part to live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:8). Also, not to offer sacrifices to God if your brother has something against you, but to go make things right with him first and then come offer your sacrifices to God (Matthew 5:23-24). I believe it is imperative to examine our hearts and relationships. Making sure there is no bitterness or hatred but only love. When we do make mistakes and hurt others, we should be quick to hold ourselves accountable to the ones we hurt and also to the Father. Likewise, when others hurt us we should be quick to forgive those who wrong us.
In this circumstance I have soberly examined the situation and my heart and I know that I handled it the wisest way that I could but still that other person is angry with me. Angry to the point of hating me, slandering my name and accusing me of all sorts of things that I know I am not guilty of. I know that everything that I have done has been out of love and a desire to help. I have peace in that. However, this past week I have felt this broad and confusing feeling of guilt. As I sit at the feet of Jesus and place these feelings before him, He clearly reminds me of who it is that is accusing me. He isn't named the "Accuser" for nothing. Jesus also reminds me that I stand guilt free in the shadow of His cross. I am by NO means perfect. I am reminded daily of this wretched flesh that I carry around with me. But I know that in this specific situation that I have spoken truth. That I have loved. That I have been prayerful about my decisions. In these things I rest. Christ Jesus said "Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets." The Accuser has been trying to steal my joy. Does this situation hurt my heart? Yes. Does it destroy me? Never. Satan has tried for years to destroy me through the acts of others. But what he needs to realize is those beautiful nail scared hands hold this woman's heart and there is NOTHING that can snatch me out of them (John 10:28)! Covered by the blood of Jesus I stand innocent and free!
Revelation 12:10-11
'And I heard a loud voice in heaven saying, " Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."'
In this circumstance I have soberly examined the situation and my heart and I know that I handled it the wisest way that I could but still that other person is angry with me. Angry to the point of hating me, slandering my name and accusing me of all sorts of things that I know I am not guilty of. I know that everything that I have done has been out of love and a desire to help. I have peace in that. However, this past week I have felt this broad and confusing feeling of guilt. As I sit at the feet of Jesus and place these feelings before him, He clearly reminds me of who it is that is accusing me. He isn't named the "Accuser" for nothing. Jesus also reminds me that I stand guilt free in the shadow of His cross. I am by NO means perfect. I am reminded daily of this wretched flesh that I carry around with me. But I know that in this specific situation that I have spoken truth. That I have loved. That I have been prayerful about my decisions. In these things I rest. Christ Jesus said "Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets." The Accuser has been trying to steal my joy. Does this situation hurt my heart? Yes. Does it destroy me? Never. Satan has tried for years to destroy me through the acts of others. But what he needs to realize is those beautiful nail scared hands hold this woman's heart and there is NOTHING that can snatch me out of them (John 10:28)! Covered by the blood of Jesus I stand innocent and free!
Revelation 12:10-11
'And I heard a loud voice in heaven saying, " Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."'
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