Parenting in freedom

Psalm 127

Unless The Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless The Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from The Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Unless I love my children, teach my children, serve my children in faith, it is done in vain.  So often I find myself entertaining anxious thoughts concerning my ministry as mommy. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing, this anxiety comes waltzing in playing on my passionate desire to serve my Master well and before I know it I am given over to a burden that I am not called to bear. 

Am I giving them enough one on one? We aren't memorizing scripture like we should. Are they exposed to too much media or too little? Am I being to harsh? Too soft? Am I reaching their hearts or controlling behavior?

While a constant evaluation of the path we are on is good, but unless I bring it back to ultimate faith and trust in the Lords provision and finished work of the cross, I will buckle under the weight every time. 

The truth is that The Lord has blessed Luke and I with these amazing gifts that we call Elijah, Halle and Ezra. He has given us a huge ministry right inside the four walls we call home. He has commanded us to teach them and shepherd their hearts in his ways, but that command does not bring bondage

but freedom. The beautiful part is, he doesn't give us this command and then roll out.  He gives us his Spirit that we are called to walk in and in doing so we will be faithful to the call as parents. We don't have to question every single step, but walk in faith, abiding in the Father and trusting that he is faithful no matter what tomorrow may hold.  I can't force my children to be or do anything. I just want to point them to Jesus in everything. I want them to know how much he loves them and what freedom there is in sacrifice. 

I am building this altar today, as I came and sat at his feet feeling overwhelmed by how insufficient I am in this ministry he has called me to, guilty and shamed for being impatient, and like only he can, he lovingly reminded me that he has purchased freedom for me. I am buckling under the pressure to do it "right" and he says "unless you are laboring in faith, it is all in vain. Abide in me and walk in freedom." 

He is so gracious and good. Anxiety always leads to frustration. I can't control the outcome of this ministry, but I have faith that as I labor for my King, he will supply the wisdom, he will supply the strength, and as I acknowledge him in all things he will direct our paths (prov 3:5-6). In faith, I will point these little blessings to Jesus and the rest is in his hands. 

It is for freedom that He has set us free! 

a small, busted up jar of clay

2 Corinthians 4:7-10
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

The "treasure" is the gospel. The term "jars of clay" was a common metaphor used in that day for human weakness.  Never before have I felt and grasped my human weakness more than this moment. I praise God for that!
Since our U-haul crossed the Texas state line last year, we have experienced spiritual warfare like never before. That tells me God is up to something great and the enemy is pretty upset about it. The enemy has done his best to convince me that there is no hope, it's not worth the fight and most of all I am not loved by the Father. As I type those statements, it seems ludicrous that he would even attempt to whisper those lies, but that is the same lie he whispered to Eve in the garden. He is subtle and crafty, attacking with overwhelming emotions and "feelings" sending me into a panic wondering "What in the world is going on with me?!".  But for the grace and mercy my Father!  He allows me to experience these attacks, but He ALWAYS rescues! AL-WAYS! What the enemy would intend to break my faith, God uses to show the magnitude of His love for me and His relentless power in rescuing His children. He plucks my feet from the net and sets my feet on solid rock. I can feel my faith growing.  I can feel my love for Jesus growing.  I can feel my hope rise.  My eyes to see the attacks are sharpening. I can feel this flame in my heart for the gospel growing stronger and stronger! I don't love Jesus near as much as I desire to, but I know the desire to love him more comes from him, so I will continue to ask for more and He will continue to give me more because that is His will.
Spiritual warfare can be exhausting.  But believer take heart, the enemy is only allowed to go as far as the Lord allows. If the Lord is allowing you to experience opposition, it is for your good and His glory. The surpassing power belongs to him, not us. God be glorified in me, whatever that looks like!