"Lord, change me... rid my heart of anything that isn't of You... reveal to me things that I need to repent from."
This is a prayer that I prayed a few weeks ago. God is faithful in answering. After a series of events and my totally uncharacteristic reactions it has become starkly evident to me that there is some anger that I have harbored in the deepest corner of my heart. I was totally unaware. I have a "suck it up" kind of mentality... I'm definitely not one to whine and have a pity party... the first person ill blame in a situation is myself which isn't always good... but because of this I have glazed over some issues instead of getting to the root of it and allowing God to heal me completely...
I have a constant hope and peace in the Holy Spirit so this anger is not something that was on the forefront of my mind.. it wasn't until God made it aware to me.. There are some wounds from my past that haven't healed... I thought they were.. but not completely... I'm not okay with that.. my utmost desire is for my heart to be an exact replica of my Saviors.. this prayer is a scary one to pray because You know He is faithful to answer! It is the Father's will to transform us! That transformation is most times very painful and humbling but most of all beautiful... I am not content where I am... I don't want some garbage hidden in my heart that isn't healed... Its not about me...
the first part of my life is best described like a violent F5 tornado that I was sucked in and whirrled around and around... until one day when He reached in... pulled me out and set my feet on a firm foundation.. and a place of peace... He has healed so much of the damage left from being in that storm... but He is still healing... I am not a finished product... I am being renewed (Philippians 3:12-14 Colossians 3:10)... I am not my own (1 corinthians 6:19-20).. my heart belongs to my Lord... I am so humbled and thankful that He looks down on me with love and isn't gonna leave me in this place... He so patiently and graciously exposes that which is hidden in the dark.. with His marvelous light (1 corinthians 4:5).. and gives beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3) It is by His precious hands that my soul was purchased... it is those precious hands that lifted me out of a pit... it is by those precious hands that I am being molded into something beautiful (Isaiah 64:8).. and it is those precious hands that I take hold of every day to walk through this life with... I am so thankful for this amazing love that takes my breath away at the mention of His name... this love I have for Him is a gift from Him... He sought me first and the very desire to love and know Him only comes from Him! (Romans 3:10, Ephesians 2:8-9) I know He is going to heal these wounds and deliver me from this anger... just like He has before... because that's who He is a what He does... as my soul is laid bare before Him... He pours His healing grace upon me... and makes me new. What a beautiful God! I want to encourage all believers to pray this prayer... ask God to give you a desire for His heart... chase after Him with reckless abandon forsaking all else.. it is the only way to truly be free and live! (Hebrews 11:6)
