Unless The Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless The Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from The Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Unless I love my children, teach my children, serve my children in faith, it is done in vain. So often I find myself entertaining anxious thoughts concerning my ministry as mommy. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing, this anxiety comes waltzing in playing on my passionate desire to serve my Master well and before I know it I am given over to a burden that I am not called to bear.
Am I giving them enough one on one? We aren't memorizing scripture like we should. Are they exposed to too much media or too little? Am I being to harsh? Too soft? Am I reaching their hearts or controlling behavior?
While a constant evaluation of the path we are on is good, but unless I bring it back to ultimate faith and trust in the Lords provision and finished work of the cross, I will buckle under the weight every time.
The truth is that The Lord has blessed Luke and I with these amazing gifts that we call Elijah, Halle and Ezra. He has given us a huge ministry right inside the four walls we call home. He has commanded us to teach them and shepherd their hearts in his ways, but that command does not bring bondage
but freedom. The beautiful part is, he doesn't give us this command and then roll out. He gives us his Spirit that we are called to walk in and in doing so we will be faithful to the call as parents. We don't have to question every single step, but walk in faith, abiding in the Father and trusting that he is faithful no matter what tomorrow may hold. I can't force my children to be or do anything. I just want to point them to Jesus in everything. I want them to know how much he loves them and what freedom there is in sacrifice.
I am building this altar today, as I came and sat at his feet feeling overwhelmed by how insufficient I am in this ministry he has called me to, guilty and shamed for being impatient, and like only he can, he lovingly reminded me that he has purchased freedom for me. I am buckling under the pressure to do it "right" and he says "unless you are laboring in faith, it is all in vain. Abide in me and walk in freedom."
He is so gracious and good. Anxiety always leads to frustration. I can't control the outcome of this ministry, but I have faith that as I labor for my King, he will supply the wisdom, he will supply the strength, and as I acknowledge him in all things he will direct our paths (prov 3:5-6). In faith, I will point these little blessings to Jesus and the rest is in his hands.
It is for freedom that He has set us free!
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