My sweet Ezra,
Little one you are already bringing the Lord so much glory and you have yet to take your first breath! Last Thursday(June 14) I went to see you on our big 32 week ultrasound. I caught a glimpse of your sweet little face but you still wouldn't show the whole thing. I guess you are keeping your good looks a surprise until they lay you on my chest. They did say that you have hair so I am very excited to see how much! According to my heart burn you should come out looking like Fabio, but lets hope not lol.
After the ultrasound I went into the rfoom to see my doctor. She had some concerns because you went from being in the 50th percentile in size to the 15th percentile. You weighed 3.15 lbs. which was not much of an increase since your last measurements. She was concerned that since your growth rate had slowed so much that something may be wrong with the placenta and she told me to cut my activity in half and increase my calorie intake. If your growth continued to slow then I would have to be on strict bed rest and would probably have to be induced early because if the placenta was bad then you would, in essence, be starving in my womb. She sent me back to see the specialist in a week for a further look. Well, needless to say, that was not the news mommy wanted to hear. I immediately began getting pounded by the enemy with feelings of guilt for not resting more and eating 'too healthy'. Thankfully, after talking to your daddy he called that stupid devil out pretty quickly and spoke wisdom and life into my heart.
The first day I was just sad feeling and went home and slept. After the clouds in my mind cleared, I knew that this was another opportunity for me to believe the gospel over my flesh. I had prayed for you every day, and from the moment he placed your little being in my womb, He has given me a peace that you were going to be completely healthy. When you had the cysts on your brain, I knew you were okay and this time was no different. As I sat at his feet, he poured out his presence on me. My heart laid bare before him, I asked him to once again make you completely healthy. You are his creation, not mine. I asked him to forgive my moments of doubt, and told him that I believe with all my heart that you are going to be perfectly healthy. Not because of some magical prayer I have prayed, but because I felt that that was His will from the beginning. But no matter what the outcome I trust Him. I asked him to speak to my heart and give me ears to hear exactly what he wanted to say to my heart. As I opened his word he led me to Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." I knew that was exactly what He wanted to say. Not because of any amount of faith I could conjure up, but only because the Holy Spirit in me knows the will of God and it was in agreement with every prayer that I had lifted up for you. Because any faith that I have is only there because God has given it to me. Because my health, and your health is not the highlight of this story. Regardless of the outcome, through tears or joy, my hearts desire is for His perfect will to be done.. because it's just that.. perfect. This story is not about me or my family. It's about Him. To display his infinite power, mercy, love and grace in a story called the gospel and I am just so blessed to get to be a part of it. Thank you Jesus for those sweet words. From that moment on, any opportunity for fear or doubt was completely cast out and I walked in complete peace and freedom knowing that my Daddy's got this.
Well today has been a week since I received that news. I woke up this morning with the song "Your Love Never Fails" stuck in my head. I worshipped all the way to the specialists office. As your Daddy and I sat in there and the ultrasound tech began to perform the scan, we noticed that she seemed to be taking the measurements over and over of your belly and your head. After measuring at least 3 or 4 times she said very puzzled "Well, I am measuring him to be 5 and a half pounds, I have measured many times to make sure it was accurate but according to this he has gained a pound and a half in a week which would put him in the 56th percentile". So in the matter of one week you went from the 15th percentile to the 56th which is unheard of! Needless to say, I could not stop laughing! I looked over at your daddy and we both had the biggest grin on our faces and immediately began giving God glory! Little one, you are already being used to bring the King glory. He is the God of the unexplainable! I am overwhelmed with excitement to see in what other ways He is going to put His glory on display in your little life! I am so thankful to be your mommy Ezra Daniel. I cannot wait to see your sweet little face, kiss your chubby cheeks and look into the eyes of an answered prayer. Each child God has graced your daddy and I with, has been an answer to a specific prayer. You each were asked specifically for and he has displayed an outpouring of his love and power through each of you. Don't ever question the greatness of our God. Don't ever doubt His power and goodness not matter what circumstances you may face in your life. I pray that you love Him with every fiber of your little being and that you chase after him with reckless abandon. There is nothing like Him sweet one.
Isaiah 26:3-4
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord is an everlasting rock."
Love this!
ReplyDelete