Last night I had a dream about my D-daddy. For those of you who don't know, he went to be with Jesus this past December. I dreamed that I saw him through a window at my grandmommies house. He looked the way he always has looked to me... like D Daddy... but his face was soft and full of grace... almost glowing... he was more slender...He locked eyes with me and smiled the biggest smile at me as I was calling for him... and then slowly he disappeared. I screamed for him to come back but he didn't.. and I wept. When I woke up I felt all of those feelings all over again... the shock of losing him... but it was also very refreshing to see his face again. Even if it was just a dream... he smiled at me.
His life on this earth taught me so much... more than I could ever write in a blog... but God has used his death even more. The day I drove frantically to get to the hospital before he passed... the whole way up there I was just praying "Lord, please just let him hold on just a few more minutes..." about 10 minutes before I got there... I was in front of Walgreen's on Youree Dr... I felt him go. I don't know how... but I broke down there in my car... just me and the Lord... I arrived at the hospital and ran up to his room.. turned the corner and saw him laying there... I have never in my life felt the feelings that I felt at that moment... there was no thinking... there was no deliberation... just raw emotion and reaction... my family was gathered around his bed ... and he was gone... my knees buckled and had it not been for my uncle I probably would have hit the floor... he was gone. For the next hour I sat on his bed looking at him and wondering what he was experiencing... wondering who he was seeing and if he had got to see Jesus yet.. because I know that is what he was so excited about... For whatever reason... the Lord didn't answer my prayer... I wasn't there when he breathed his last breath... but I trust him. I am so thankful that my D-daddy is finally where his heart has longed to be... I am also thankful that God gave me that dream... There have been numerous instances in my life that I have had dreams where I have seen things through a window and all of those things have had spiritual meaning... I consider that dream a blessing and I feel as though it was reassurance from the Lord that D Daddy is so happy... and that he loves me... i miss his so much but I rejoice with all of me that he is with Jesus.
Precious!
ReplyDelete